How long has it been..........?

I am not totally sure but it has been a while. I am sure my readers equals zero but none the less I am back and will soon be blogging more and more so keep up.

Shake it up ...

Things are better at work but I have like no social life. The social life I do have is probabaly the wrong kind. That is kinda funny because I keep getting crushes on completly the wrong kind of guys. I fall often and I fall fast. He he. I talked to Fred tonight and we talked about some interesting things and I really want to see him except I am afraid I will start to like him again and he is leaving in January and not to mention we have some huge differences.

If anyone out there knows and SINGLE, STRAIGHT, INTELIGENT, and not overly RELIGOUS guys hook me up. I seem to have a habit of putting myself in unhealthy realationships. I am missing having a boyfriend. I don't need to have one but I like having one. It's just hard cause I dont have time and I am dealing with alot of stress. I need someone local so I dont have to travel and I need someone I can trust.

Well I am off to bed. Keep me in mind if you see some nice guys.

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Well today had more twists and turns than most recent days but there is not alot I can do about it. I feel I handled the stress well considereing I didnt freak out. I think I handled most of the stress in a normal matter until I talked to Steve. After a nasty phone conversation I ended up crying for a bit and I am left with bitter feelings that I hope will go away soon. It feels like old times.

I go back to work tomorrow after two consecutive days in a row off. I sent away for an application and some information from UC. I think I will end up trying to live in a single dorm rather than opting for an aparment because fincially it was alot easier on me which made life a lot less stressful. I know it wont make my mom happy but I am so worried about getting back to school so that I can finish that I am not worrying about anything else. I read a little bit about UC online but I do not know a lot. It will suck to live in a dorm again but its better than certain alternatives.

That is all for now.

I bid you tidings of comfort and joy....

Well a month later and I am not sure what all you are aware of and not. I will be updating on a more regular basis when i get my computer which will be in in about 10 days. I am working at Wal-Mart in the layaway deparment. My boss's name is Joy and she is the laziest person I have ever met. She takes credit for my work and likes to talk about people behind their back. She makes work miserable because she shows up when she wants to and ignores the schedule.

I am driving a different, newer, and more reliable car now that also has a car payment to go along with it. Now that I have realiable trasnportation you may see me driving around the tri-state visiting friends. I have a planned trip to go see Angie in Toledo and I may go and see Fred in Ky.

I am currently single and freshly back on the market. But if you ask me if I am looking the answer is no. I have little time for anything other than work and trying to make life altering descions. I need a way to pay for school and to not have to work so mych but be able to support myself. I am looking into the air force reservesin hopes that it will help me regain my dicipline and help me become more confident. That is still in the earliest stages.

I wish i had the power to make up my mind and stop wasting time. I feel and I am stuck because I do not know what I am doing. I do know that I do not want to become a permanet fixture at Wal-Mart store 3571.

Wish me luck.

Post Number 89.

While www.zipsix.com is closing its doors for good No Ordinary Day shall remain open and waiting for anyone who wishes to read it. And although updates have been far and few recently with my new computer on its way ( so to speak) I will get back to updating daily and you can once again have your fill of that sweet blogger goodness that is my words.

But anyways I am residing at 2315 Queen ave again but for how long I do not know. Things seem to be going well right now and I wish for them to conitnue. I hope to update again in the next few days. Dont keep your fingers crossed.

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This the first day of August in 2004....

What are you hiding from?

Congradulations to Steve on finishing school and finishing the bar.

For those who do not know I am residing back at Queen Ave. in the bedroom located on the backside of my parents house. It is the one where the door is always closed in case you are having trouble identifying it. I would like to point out that I am not hiding from anything but rather preparing for what comes next. I do not know what that might be but I do hope that I will recieve solid closure from this stage. I have anticipated this for a while now and although I was in denial about it and didnt want to admit it. Now is the time for a huge change to take place for me personaly. The people I once knew are people I know longer wish to. Even the people closest to me are different and I feel know is a good time to let them go. I feel in order for my change to take form I must initiate it. I was not ready to step up and do that before. I feel now I am ready and I look forward to what will come next. I often sit and ponder about what it will be, I know now that it is just going to happen. I am willing to say goodbye to alot of things and do so without looking back. The last two years were nothing short of an adventure to say the least. But I do not wish to relive them. I feel that I grew becasue of them and now I will find growth through something else. I wish you good luck on your endeavors.

What once was my rock is no longer and now I seek to lean on myself.